Dear Diary -and- To be a Queen
by MyNameIsCrazy
Summary: Follow Star through her years back on Mewni as she learns how to be a queen, and struggles with being a teenage girl / Star revisits Earth for a year... Watch for serious Starco...
1. Why Do I Have To Do This?

_Dear Diary,_

 _It's been three weeks since I've been back home on Mewni. I miss Earth so much, but I know I can't go back. Like, ever. My sixteenth birthday is coming up soon. Almost the entire kingdom will be there. I don't know how I feel about it. I'd much rather spend it on Earth. With the Diazes. And Marco._

 _Marco... I miss you so much. I never even got to tell you how I felt about you. I'm crazy about you, Marco! Why could I never tell you? Why was I always so silly when I tried to talk to you? I never had that problem before! Why now? It seems easy to tell you here, when you can't see this. Or me. At all. I miss you, my darling Marco..._

* * *

 **Hello all! The chapters will be like this for a while, as they are going to simulate a diary. Also, I will be posting a chapter every so often, just to keep you interested! I will post the first five entries of Star's 'diary', then from there, watch to see when the next one is up!**

 **Cheers!**


	2. He Won't Leave Me Alone!

_Dear Diary,_

 _Tom tried to ask me out. Again. I refused._ Again _. Sheesh, can't that guy ever take a hint? He knows I'm not into him anymore, but he's just so persistent! Unlike Marco. Who's totally oblivious._

 _I miss him so much. My sixteenth birthday wasn't anything like I wanted. It was for a proper princess. I'm not a proper princess. Like, at all. It was a stuffy party with dignitaries I didn't know, and didn't want to know. It was delicate food I could barely eat without eating the whole plate of it, and there wasn't even cake! What an outrage! There needs to be cake at every party!_


	3. Being A Princess Sucks

_Dear Diary,_

 _Well, my handwriting is improving. Like Mother and Father wanted. They say it will look much better on official documents. Granted, I have quite a long ways to go. I don't take the throne until my twenty-first birthday. In five years. Can anyone wait that long to be in control of anything? I'm lucky I can control my temper when in Etiquette lessons._


	4. I'm Star Flippin' Butterfly!

_Dear Diary,_

 _Marco wrote me today! Finally! After six months I finally got a letter from him! It was only just a "checking in" letter, but he has no idea how much it really means to me._

 _I want to write him, but Mother and Father are so strict now. I can't have nearly any contact with anyone who isn't trying to help me with my preparation for becoming queen. I want to tell him how much of this is torture, how much I hate the boring lectures, the primping and properness that is so irritating._

 _But as they say, "It's not ladylike to complain." Bah on ladylike! I'm Star Butterfly! I do what I want!_


	5. I Fought The Crown And The Crown Won

_Dear Diary,_

 _So much for doing what I want. I'm still told what to do, how to do it, and that I'm constantly doing it wrong. How am I supposed to learn if I can't make mistakes? But they love to say that queens never make mistakes. We always leave the mistake-making for someone else._

 _It's been eight months so far, and Marco's letter two months ago was the only time I heard from him._

 _"On the bright side", my handwriting has once more improved. My parents are again proud, as is my calligraphy teacher. She says that "my pen is as much an extension of myself as my wand is. It dictates how I rule." I don't think so at all. I just think that my hand hurts more and more every day I try to write neatly._


	6. Why Couldn't I Tell You?

_Dear Diary,_

 _I found a picture from Earth of Marco and I out for ice cream. We looked so young. At least, I did. I've aged up quite a bit, just from turning sixteen. I wish I could go back to my earth days. They were so peaceful and fun, even with Ludo trying to steal my wand constantly._

 _But I guess that's what made it so fun. Marco and I, fighting side by side. He was my knight in shining armour. I only wish I was his princess._

 _Marco, there's something I need to tell you. I wish I could tell you in person, but this will do. I love you, Marco Diaz. I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and that will ever happen to me. You're so happy all the time. So full of energy and excitement. I know you always saw me as a magically annoying best friend, but I wish you could've seen me as something more. You're probably dating Jackie right now. And I couldn't be more happy for you. I know how much you liked her. But I can't help feeling so, so, so jealous that hers is the hand that yours touches, her lips are the ones you kiss, her eyes are the ones you gaze into lovingly._

 _Marco, if I had only told you sooner... Would it have made a difference?_


	7. This Can't Be Me

_Dear Diary,_

 _My handwriting has once more improved. I have been practicing painfully, constantly, nearly every morning for at least two hours. I can't stand how much I write. I wish only writing in my diary would help. But no one knows that I keep this._

 _Reading back through my previous entries, I noticed that my language use has improved as well. I guess my lessons are really paying off._

 _My seventeenth birthday is in two weeks. I can't stand another party like last year's. Since Ponyhead is still at St. O's, I can't even go out with her. Not like I'd want to. Parties like that are crude and childish._

 _Oh my gosh, did I just write that? I know my lessons are so strict, but I didn't know they brainwashed me._


	8. I've Changed

_Dear Diary,_

 _The lessons aren't brainwashing sessions anymore. They've become quite enjoyable. I guess that since I was a belligerent teen, and now that my seventeenth birthday is right around the corner, a year of intense instruction was desperately needed. I still love having fun, but as I will be queen in four years, I really have no time. I have meetings to lead, important letters to address to, and Mother to shadow, as well as Father. When I turn eighteen, Father is going to name me regent for one year, to test out my ability to rule._

 _I'm just hoping I do well. I have one more year to prepare. Hopefully that's enough time._


	9. Just General Details

_Dear Diary,_

 _Tonight was my birthday ball. Once again, nearly all of the same dignitaries showed up as did last year. Most of them I remembered. They told me that that was a sign of a good ruler. I smiled politely and thanked them obviously, attempting to make friends._

 _Tom showed up. Again. He looked quite handsome for a change. He wore a black suit instead of his trademark white suit. I was surprised to see him actually, for how rude I had been to him so many times. Of course I was cordial, but my heart still belongs to my Earth boy, Marco._

 _My gown tonight was actually quite lovely for a change. It was light pink, with a sweetheart neckline, and off the shoulder sleeves. I was surprised at how light the skirt was also. Granted, it was all tulle, it was still slightly heavier than most of my day dresses._

 _Speaking of, my wardrobe had quite the update. Nearly everything was purged and replaced with elegant dresses that fit every occasion, should it arise._

 _My handmaids are quite attentive, as I had been assigned four. Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Lea, and Aquaria. They were all named after constellations in the sky._


	10. Let's Try This Again

_Dear Diary,_

 _My calligraphy instructor is extremely impressed at how nicely my handwriting has improved over the past year. She tells me that cursive writing is the way nearly all rulers write. In our dimension, and across all others._

 _Tom called on me today whilst I was studying in the library. He has been quite attentive lately. I am surprised at how much I am enjoying his attentions. To be honest, I have neglected my affections for the Earth boy nearly entirely. I have not thought about him up to this date, since I can last remember._

 _He took me out for a picnic today. It was only in the castle gardens, but it was lovely nonetheless. He once more professed his feelings for me, which I was quite alarmed to find were never repressed. I felt regretful, once again, that they were still not requited. He took the rejection in stride, which was quite a change from how he used to react._


	11. Never Going Back There

_Dear Diary,_

 _Today I received the most startling piece of mail. It was from Marco Diaz. What he had sent me was an invitation to his high school graduation party. I had to stop and look at my Earth calendar. He was right. He was graduating next week. I looked once more on the card and saw that his party was going to be shared with his girlfriend, Jackie. My heart felt cold in that instant._

 _He had been dating Jackie afterall. Unable to look at it anymore, I disposed of it in the waste basket, never to be thought of again._


	12. I Can't Wait!

_Dear Diary,_

 _I am counting down the days until my time as regent begins. Only six more months! I can't contain my excitement much longer! Tom takes me out for long walks to ease my stress and lower my excitement levels, but also encourages me to talk about my plans as regent, too. I have so much planned, I don't know if I will be able to accomplish it all._

 _My leadership instructor tells me to keep a level head constantly, especially when the situation becomes difficult to manage, for instance a meeting of Mewni generals. They are all so boisterous and unable to manage. I will have to be able to bring that kind of room to a silence as I speak._

 _I feel like I have enough confidence that I can do this. I am Princess Star Butterfly. I am a capable young blossoming monarch. I believe in myself._


	13. He's Not So Bad After All

_Dear Diary,_

 _Four months until my eighteenth birthday! I cannot wait! My maids are already preparing my regent gown that I will wear when Father declares me regent, and several more for important meetings and events._

 _I forgot I had Marco's party marked on my calendar. It was already last month. I missed it. Looking back, I felt like I had missed it on purpose, but Tom told me that it wasn't my world anymore. That I really had no business going back. I was the rising monarch of Mewni. I needed to continue with my instruction._

 _Looking at Tom this afternoon as he sat in the library across from me, I remembered why I had dated him in the first place. He was charming, cordial, sweet, understanding. Everything I ever wanted in a partner. Looking at him today, he still is. He has learned to control his temper as well, and not just by petting a rabbit. He told me that being with me again has helped him regain control of his anger, which made me me feel so confident in myself. If I had the ability to help Tom, without knowing what I had done, who's to say I hadn't had the same effect on other people?_


	14. I Missed So Much

_Dear Diary,_

 _I received a letter from Marco Diaz today. He wrote, asking why I hadn't attended his graduation party, nor his graduation. I paled. There had also been a ticket in the envelope with the invitation. I hadn't even seen it._

 _His words didn't come across angry as much as they had come across sad and disappointed. But what could I have done? I couldn't neglect my instruction, nor my duties as a princess._


	15. My Dress Is Here!

_Dear Diary,_

 _Two more weeks until my eighteenth birthday party. My maids are hard at work making my birthday gown. They told me it was nearly finished, and that they needed to put the embroidery and beading on it last. That was the delicate part, Lea said._

 _Tom is on my guest list. I couldn't not invite him, after all the attention he had been showing me over the past year._

 _My maids have just brought up my dress! It looks absolutely divine! The colour is a very light blue, and it it fitted around the body, waist and hips, then flares out at the bottom. Wait! There is another piece! It's a belt, piled with tule around the majority of it, with the buckle going in front to expose the dress itself._


	16. I'm Still A Klutz

_Dear Diary,_

 _We did a test fit of my gown for tonight this morning. I had twirled around it in my room so much this morning that I nearly forgot about my afternoon tea that was was just brought in for me._


	17. A Whirlwind Night

_Dear Diary,_

 _My birthday party was even more exciting than it had been last year! There was actually cake this year!_

 _Oh, what an incredible evening. Tom waltzed me around the floor until I was dizzy. Afterwards, he escorted me outside where his birthday present to me was waiting._

 _It was a proposal ring. Not quite the engagement ring, but a simple silver band, topped with a diamond, to signify that a woman will most likely, soon after be truly engaged._

 _Through much surprise and many a tear. I finally nodded, giving him the consent he needed to slip the ring onto my left index finger._


	18. Second Thoughts About Everything

_Dear Diary,_

 _Is it wrong to have second thoughts about wanting to get engaged? I care about Tom very much, but I know that I'd never have the ability to love him again. My heart still, and will forever, belong to Marco Diaz, whether he knows it or not. But my guess is that he will never know..._


	19. I Am Now In Charge

_Dear Diary,_

 _Today Father made me regent for the upcoming year. I went through what was organized as a mock coronation, which I was told will be very similar to the one I have when I turn twenty-one._

 _The cathedral was packed. Nearly everyone in Mewni appeared to witness my coronation as regent. I apologize that I state I am regent so much, it's just that I can't believe I really am._

 _Tom sat next to Mother in the front row, his eyes full of pride for me. I couldn't help but feel reassured by that. I sat a little taller in the throne, I held my head a little higher, and I smiled just a little wider. Everything seemed so perfect today. All except Marco not being here._


	20. My Forthcoming Husband Questions Me

_Dear Diary,_

 _I've been regent for the past three months now, and Tom has been sitting at my side as mock consort, as he will be a real consort when he is my husband. Next year. He proposed to me officially last week. The ring wasn't elaborate, it was just a simple star crystal set in a rose gold band. It was lovely, but simple, like I stated before._

 _Tom took me on a picnic today to break from the daily grind of dealing with everything. My head was swimming, and he knew I was still distracted._

 _"You still like that Marco guy, don't you?" he had asked me whilst on our picnic. I had denied him at first, but I decided that being honest with the man that was going to be my husband in less than a year. I confessed that I couldn't love him as much as I did Marco, but I added also that I would certainly try to love him as much as I could. That did a bit of good, I guessed, because he seemed content with my answer._


	21. Can I Really Do This?

_Dear Diary,_

 _Six months until my wedding. I don't know if I can actually go through with this. I am constantly awake during the day about it, and I can't concentrate at all. Is this really the right decision? Does a queen really have to have a consort?_

 _Tom would be prince consort until I took the throne in two years, He talks about the title as if he has it today. I can't bear to break his heart again. Maybe a vacation somewhere. Maybe that's what I need._

 _But as regent, I can't. Not anymore. I'm too important. I hate saying that. It makes me feel so vain, but I know that if I didn't say that, Tom would say that to me._

 _Tom. Why does he keep appearing in my train of thought? Oh Marco, if only you were here. You'd know what I should do._


	22. I Really Can't Do This

_Dear Diary,_

 _I've made up my mind. I am going to call off the wedding with Tom. I can't go through with it. I'm scared about how I'd fare as a regent with a new husband, and I fear for my own sanity. I know I can never love him as much as I love Marco, and he knows this too._


	23. I Did--Like I Do But I Couldn't

_Dear Diary,_

 _I called off the wedding. Tom looked like he was about to explode from rage, but he took a deep breath and saw that I couldn't love him as much as I did Marco. And he understood. That was what I found so surprising. He understood and took the rejection in such stride that I had never seen him do before._

 _Giving his rings back, I thanked him for how much he paid attention to me, and wished him all the best in his quest for love. He had, though, told me I was going to be the only girl he ever loved, but I knew that he'd move on._


	24. Mother Says Nothing To Me

_Dear Diary,_

 _Mother refuses to speak to me now that I have broken the engagement to Tom. She had told me, very loudly, that a better union could not be formed on Mewni. I refused to believe her and in that confrontation, she stormed away. She even refuses to look at me._


	25. What Do I Do Now?

_Dear Diary,_

 _My year of being regent has almost come to an end. My nineteenth birthday is fast approaching, within two months actually, yet there is still so much I hadn't gotten done. I plan to meet with Father tomorrow to discuss how to finish enacting my plans._


	26. I'm Overwhelmed

_Dear Diary,_

 _Father said that the best way to accomplish what I needed to was to focus on the most important items first, then if there is time left over, act upon the smaller things. But how can I determine what is most important? I wrote it all because I thought it was all important._

 _Being queen is going to be harder than I expected._


	27. I Don't Have Time For Frivolities

_Dear Diary,_

 _I refused my first party invitation from Ponyhead today. I felt like a part of me died inside, but I knew that future queens shouldn't be seen gyrating on a lighted flashing dancefloor. Instead tonight, I will be writing the final copy of the ordinance for equal housing of the lower classes, scheduled to start construction next month._

 _Now that, I am extremely excited for. After taking a ride through the lower parts of town, I noticed how shabby the homes were and knew then and there that, to be liked as a queen, I needed to do things for all people, not just those with more money._

 _Mother of course, thought it'd be a waste of good finances, which set the determination for me that she will have no ruling power when I am crowned queen of Mewni. Father on the other hand, is pleased with my ordinance, and will see to it personally that construction begins on schedule._

 _I couldn't be more happy right now._


	28. They Still Love Me

_Dear Diary,_

 _Construction is underway, but I am no longer regent. Although I was distraught that I couldn't do more with my time, I gave the crown back peacefully, leaving the rest of my plans up to my father._

 _Construction of the houses is going perfectly according to schedule. They have been under construction for about two months now, and some are already livable. I am excited beyond words that my plans and laws have become so loved and accepted by the people of Mewni. Nothing could make me happier now._


	29. Mother Is The Worst

_Dear Diary,_

 _It is coming up on Mother and Father's twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and in their honor, I have declared a ball, open to all citizens to honor their king and queen._

 _Everyone is in agreement that my idea is fantastic. All except my mother._

 _She and I had a row today. I told her she wasn't fit to be queen if she didn't want to get to know her own subjects. She retorted with saying I was letting them walk all over me. To which I replied that if that was the kind of ruler that was needed right now, one that listened to the people, then that was what I was going to be._

 _She now refuses to speak to me and will not attend the ball tomorrow night. Father insists that one of us, preferably me, goes and speaks to her, to which I constantly reply, "She's your wife."_

 _I have no more respect for my mother. She lost that the moment she said she didn't think I would make a good regent, let alone queen. I had overheard her speaking to Father about this before I took place as regent, before my eighteenth birthday party. I hadn't mentioned to anyone, not even Father that I had heard her, as to not arouse such an argument. But today I got my revenge._

 _I want to strip her of all her titles and leave her just as a noble when I am queen. She does not deserve such high standing in Mewni._


	30. The Anniversary Ball and Father Knows

_Dear Diary,_

 _The ball last night went off without a single hitch! Father had a lovely time, there was cake and music and dancing, and every single citizen who attended had such a wonderful time. I had a hard time sorting through and reading my thank you letters from all who attended, letters of which I never expected to receive._

 _Father said that is a sign of a people's ruler._

 _Today I sat down and told him of mother's scandalous words. He took on a very serious face, listened, but said not a single word. When I finished relaying to him what had happened, he simply thanked me for telling him and left._

 _I'm not sure what to think of this. I tried to make heads or tails of his actions, but I'm left totally in the dark._


	31. A Huge Party!

_Dear Diary,_

 _I know it's been a while, but my twentieth birthday is coming up in just a few days! Father is throwing me a huge party before my serious training begins. Not that everything I do every day is serious enough. It's only that I am now only a year away from my twenty-first birthday. And the day of my coronation. The day I become queen of Mewni._

 _Surprisingly, there is still so much that needs to be done. I need to attend every meeting Father holds, not just the monthly meetings. There are press conferences that I need to attend as well, so that people can get to know what my plans are as queen, I need to be fitted for my coronation gown._

 _I have not heard from nor seen my mother in the past eight months. Perhaps it is for the best. I don't need her negativity in my reign._


	32. A Velvet Box

_Dear Diary,_

 _Today was incredible! The party was bigger than my past four birthdays combined! So many presents, so much cake, so much dancing! Everyone was such a joy tonight!_

 _My mother showed up, just before dinner. She wished me a happy birthday, kissed my forehead and handed me a flat, rectangular velvet box with a white bow on it. I still haven't opened it yet, I haven't had the courage to._

 _Father said I can open it whenever I want, just as long as I have courage. But it's so hard to find. Especially when your relationship with the one woman you thought you knew, thought you loved, wasn't who you thought she was._


	33. So The Year On Earth Begins

Star closed her diary and put down her pen. Leaning back in her chair, she let out a long, deep breath, signaling to her how exhausted she was. Standing from her desk, she walked to her bathroom, took off the powder pink birthday gown and dressed in a night dress before heading to bed. Stopping at her dresser, she looked at the pictures that were tucked into the frame of the mirror. She still hadn't had the heart to remove them.

There was a picture of her, when she was about fourteen, where she had red horns in her hair and a wild grin on her face. She could just barely see her wand in the picture, as she was holding it out. There was a boy in the picture too, with a birthmark under his right eye. He was handsome for a younger boy. The more she looked at the picture, the more his face became familiar.

She gasped. "Marco," she whispered, her hands over her mouth. She hadn't uttered his name in five years. Sure she had written about him in her diary, but she never uttered his name until just now. Over the past three, she had nearly forgotten him completely. How could she have done that? She rattled her brain for a reason as to why she would forget him, but none came to her.

All of her thoughts were suddenly solely occupied by Marco. What was he doing? Where was he now? How was he? Was he still dating Jackie? Star stopped thinking there. She didn't like Jackie. She never did, not after Marco only talked about her.

Star took the dog eared picture down from the mirror frame and dropped it into a waste bin near her desk, unable to look at his face anymore. She plodded over to her bed and fell into it, staring up at the canopy above her. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop thinking of him. Trying her best to forget him once more, she closed her eyes, dozing off into a fitful sleep.

"Good morning, Princess Star! You have a big day... Star, are you okay?" Andromeda said, stopping her statement short when she saw the state of her princess. Star was sprawled on her bed, her pillow over her face, the blankets strewn all about the bed.

"No," Star grumbled, her word muffled by the feather pillow. Cassiopeia lifted the pillow off of the princess's face and smiled sweetly. Lea and Aquaria were standing at the foot of my bed, and they all looked mildly worried.

"Star, we're all concerned. You're usually up before we have the chance to wake you. Today we all had to try our hand at it. Andromeda was the one who finally woke you, it seemed," Lea said, a serious look on her face. Star sat up, yawned, and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I'm sorry girls. I've just had a rough night's sleep," Star explained. Her eyes darted to the mirror and, being so well trained on every slight move their princess made, the ladies' attention gravitated to the mirror where they all noticed the missing picture. Aquaria though, was the first to catch it lying in the bin.

"What's this picture doing in the trash?" she asked, walking over to it. Stooping to pick it up, she looked at it and saw that it was the picture of the Earth boy the princess used to be in love with, and suspected she still might still be.

"Please get rid of that picture," Star groaned, shoving another pillow into her face and flopping back down on the bed. She couldn't bear to see his face again. Not after Jackie. Not after even fighting to keep her on Earth. The maids chuckled and gently dragged their princess out of bed to get ready for the day.

"Your father wants you to meet him in the gardens, your highness," Lea said over the shower. The king was planning something special for his daughter before her coronation next year. She was going to spend the rest of the year on earth, returning once a week to complete the rest of her training to become queen.

Once Star was out of the shower, her hair was dried and styled and she changed into a light cotton dress before heading out to meet her father. Walking through the halls, Star wondered what it could be that her father was planning. Surely it couldn't be a party. She had far too much work to do to be having another party. She walked out of the palace and down the stairs to the garden where her father was waiting. She looked around for the king, and finally saw him at the end of a tall hedgerow.

He was sitting under a pergola, laced with ivy vines, toying with a lone vine stem that hung down. She cleared her throat and he looked up at her, and motioned her forward.

"Father, you wanted to see me?" Star asked, taking a seat next to the king. Her father nodded and withdrew from his jacket a pair of dimensional scissors. His own pair. Star, confused and slightly upset that this was all she was called out for, frowned. She had more important things to do. And besides, she already had a pair.

"You're giving me your dimensional scissors," Star said, the tone of her voice rhetorical. "Dad, I already have a pair," she added with mild irritation in her voice. The king didn't speak, he only held out the scissors.

"Okay, Dad now you're starting to freak me out. What's going on?"

"I'm sending you back to Earth for the remainder of the year. All I ask is that once per week, you return here to complete your training," the king stated softly.

Star paled, as if she had seen a ghost. She couldn't go back to Earth. Not with Jackie Lynn Thomas there. Not with Marco there...

"No. I want to stay here on Mewni. I don't want to go back," Star pleaded, tears welling in her eyes. "I can't go back." She fell onto her father's chest, crying silently. He knew why she couldn't go. Because of that Earth boy. She had fallen in love with him, that he knew for certain. But what he also knew was that Earth was, and would be again, good for her to go back to before she took her serious role as queen of Mewni.

"Star Butterfly, I, as not only your father, but your king, insist that you go back to Earth. Just until your coronation. It will do you some good to be back there. Think of it as a vacation, sweetheart," Father said, taking her hands in his. He looked at her with very serious, compassionate eyes and Star relented. She knew that look. It was a look of deep caring, one only a father had for his daughter.

"Alright. Just a year," Star complied. "Where will I be..."

"The Diazes are more than willing to take you back, Star, won't that be nice?" Father said, cutting her off. Once more, Star paled. But knowing argument was futile, she complied once more and nodded slowly.

"Yes, that will be fine," she replied stiffly. Her father looked at her with mild concern.

"Star, is everything alright? Did something happen that I wasn't aware of? Talk to me, sweetheart," he said gently, taking her gently by the chin and turning her face towards his own.

"Father, I can't see Marco. Not again," Star said, pulling away from her father and wrapping her arms around herself. Her father looked at her with concern once more and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I want you to go to Earth. As your king I request it, and as your father, I recommend it. You need some time out of the palace, and off of Mewni. Go pack your things. I will see you in three hours," he said gently but sternly, leaving her to wallow in her newfound sadness.

Star sat on the bench for several minutes, before prying herself off of it, standing and heading back to her room. She didn't watch where she was going particularly, until she ran into someone.

"Oh I'm sor- Mother," Star said stiffly, addressing her mother.

"Star. Did you like your present?" her mother asked. Star blanched. She still hadn't opened the box yet.

"I haven't opened it yet," Star replied. Her mother looked sad but nodded, and walked away. Star watched the woman leave, a pang in her chest. She hadn't even opened her own mother's birthday present yet.

Hurrying back to her room, she slid into her desk seat and reached for the box. It was relatively large and carried quite a bit of weight. With tentative fingers, Star unlatched the clasp on the end and lifted the lid. First, a note slid out onto the floor, but Star ignored it. Lifting the lid more, she gasped and nearly dropped it.

Inside the box was a large, flat sapphire and diamond collar, fully adorned with jewels. She set the box down tenderly and clasped her hands over her mouth. Tears leaked from her large blue eyes and dripped onto her wrists. The note on the floor caught her eye and she stooped down to pick it up. It was folded into quarters, and as she unfolded it, she recognized her mother's handwriting.

" _To my beautiful daughter and princess, Star-_

 _Happy 20th birthday, love. This is for you to wear at your coronation_

 _Love always, Mother_ "

Star dropped the note and lept from her seat. She charged out of her room and down the hall, trying to navigate through tears. She reached her mother's room and barged in, not caring about etiquette at the moment. Her mother was sitting at her desk, writing a letter when she looked up and saw her bawling daughter charging at her.

She stood and opened her arms wide, embracing her girl. Star wept into her mother's chest, her arms tightly around her waist, holding her tight. Her mother held her daughter back tighter, caressing her hair tenderly.

"I always believed in you. I always wanted you to succeed. I just also wanted you to learn that there would be people who will challenge you, oppose you, stand against everything you believe in and stand for. You needed to learn how to handle them. You still do, Star. I love you so much, my child, and you still have so much yet to learn."

Star understood everything her mother told her, she just couldn't stop crying. "But," Star sniffled. "I hurt you. Shouldn't you hate me?"

Her mother kissed her forehead tenderly, then looked at her daughter. "I could never hate you, Star. You're my pride and joy," she smiled. Star gave her mother a watery smile, one more tight hug, then excused herself to pack for her year back on Earth.

"Good luck, darling," her mother said, cupping her daughter's face in her hands. Star hugged her mother once more and headed back to her room, wiping her eyes on the back of her hands.

"There you are, Star! We've packed for you!" Lea declared when Star arrived back at her room. She looked around, stunned. She had two suitcases and a backpack sitting by her bed, all ready to go. Impressed with her maids, she hugged them all and declared how painfully she would be missing all of them. They shared several emotional goodbyes, and saw their princess off as she made her way down to the gardens, suitcases in hand.

Her mother and father were waiting for Star at the same pergola she had met her father this morning, the two standing together.

"Are you ready, darling?" Star's mother asked, looking her over as any mother would. Star nodded and smiled at her mother, then turned to her father. She nodded to both of them and her father pulled out his scissors. Holding her breath, he cut a hole in the dimensions and Star could see Marco's backyard shimmering beyond. Hugging both of her parents briefly, she picked up her suitcases once more and stepped through the portal.

She turned around and saw it was gone before looking around at Earth once more. She took a deep breath and set down her suitcases, looking around.

There were footsteps behind her, and she felt her heart race faster and faster.

"Star?"


	34. I Forgot How To Love You

Star's heart beat faster than it had ever before in her life. She turned around to see Marco Diaz standing there, a backpack over his shoulder and a suitcase behind him. He looked at her with the same stunned expression as she wore herself. She clutched her own backpack straps tightly, feeling her nails digging into her palms.

"How are you here? Why? What's going on?" Marco spluttered, dropping his suitcase and backpack. He ran over to her and threw his arms around her, holding her tightly. Star's body went stiff, unsure of how to react. His arms, lean and sculpted, went slack and retracted from around her, probably feeling her body stiffen.

"Hello, Marco," she replied, stepping away from him and curtsying slightly. Marco stared at her with incredulity. She was so different. Her hair was combed back in an elegant half pony tail, and it was shinier and sleeker than it had ever been. Her eyes were solemn and serious, no longer filled with anticipation and excitement. Her posture was stiff as her hands were clasped in front of her. Her jaw was set and her head was held higher than usual, due to her acceptance of her position on Mewni.

"What happened to you, Star? You're so proper," Marco remarked, picking up his belongings. Star shook her head in disagreement.

"I'm a princess, Marco. I don't have time for frivolity anymore. My mother and father sent me here because they thought it would be good for me. My coronation is only a year away," she explained. Marco gaped at her.

"You're really going to be a queen," he muttered. Something inside Marco snapped, like a string that connected his heart to her's. But he remembered her heart was never his. He felt like he had given her his heart so freely, in everything he did for her. Clearly, now that she's going through with her coronation, she never was his to begin with. Silently nursing his emotional wounds, he tried to strike up a conversation with the future queen.

He opened his mouth, but she instead began to speak. "Where are you going, or coming back from?" she asked, motioning to his backpack and suitcase. Marco looked down at his stuff and shrugged.

"I'm coming home from college for the summer," he answered. Star's breath caught in her throat. He was going to college, just like he always wanted to.

"What are you going for?" Star asked, afraid of the answer.

"Biomedical engineering," he replied, shifting his weight. Star nodded, feeling the awkwardness that was surrounding the small talk. "Why don't you come inside? Mom and Dad are probably dying to know you're here," he added, picking up his stuff and heading towards the house. Star nodded and lifted her own bags, following him inside.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home," Marco called, dropping his suitcase and backpack in the living room. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz walked into the living room, beaming as they heard the sound of their son's voice, but stopped short when they saw Star. She curtsied to them briefly, setting her things down prior to greeting them.

"How do you do, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz. It's been quite the while since our last encounter," Star said politely. They stared at Star as if she were a long lost child they had not seen in years. But really, she was. She had been gone for five years now. She was a completely different person.

"Hello, Princess Star," Mrs. Diaz said in surprise, curtsying back slightly. The Diazes were quite surprised to have Star back in their midst, as she had changed immensely over the past five years.

"It's nice to have you back here," Mr. Diaz added, walking over to the princess. She did not react, but simply held up a hand to stop him. He looked startled as he looked at the princess.

"Star, are you alright?" Marco asked, walking closer to the princess. She turned to face him, her face stoic and her eyes gleaming with privilege.

"I am a princess. One must ask permission to approach," she said, clasping her hands at her waist. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz looked at each other then at their son, in complete disbelief of who stood in front of them. The girl they knew five years ago would embrace them in a rib cracking hug the instant she saw them. Now the young woman who stood in front of them was only an image of the girl they thought they knew.

"Your highness, may I show you your room?" Marco asked, bowing to her in a mocking fashion. His tone of voice was sharp and bitter, trying to get under her skin like she did his.

"You may, Marco," Star said. She picked up her bags and followed the young man up the stairs to the room that used to be hers. Her breath hitched in her throat. It was still there. They hadn't removed it.

"Your domain, _your highness_ ," Marco snapped bitterly, once more bowing to her as he opened the door.

"Thank you, Marco," Star said, turning to face him, a stunned look on her face. He glared at her and shut the door with a solid snap and headed back downstairs. Star set her things down and listened to him clomp angrily down the stairs. She looked at her things and sat down on her bed. Was she too harsh with them? Too strict? Was she mean?

She flopped back on her bed and stared up at the canopy above her. She really was. She felt awful. Sitting up, she made her way to the door, but something stopped her. Her hand hovered above the door handle as she listened intently to the conversation that was happening outside her door.

"Yes, Jackie, I'm home...Yeah I can see you now...No, I'm not busy...I can be over in fifteen minutes...See you then."

It was Marco. He was still seeing Jackie. But something about his voice was different. He sounded indifferent. Still, Star's heart felt cold, as if something in her had died. Walking over to her bed, she pulled her wand out of her backpack and waved it lightly over her. She took a deep breath and felt it leave her heart, her mind and her soul. She looked at the star in the center of her wand and it glowed blue for a second, then faded and became dull.

She felt almost lighter, as if nothing worried her anymore. She looked around for a good place to place her wand, a safe place only she knew about, but could not find one for the time being. Shrugging, she put her wand back into her backpack. Star walked to her door and opened it to find Marco standing there, his hand raised to knock. She smiled at him with a simple smile, as if she didn't know why he was standing there.

"Hey Star, look, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Marco said, standing in her doorway. His body was shaking, and his eyes were clouded.

"It can wait. You have somewhere to be," she smiled, turning him around and gently nudging him towards the stairs. He gaped at her as he walked down the stairs, her smile so incomprehensible, so impossible to decipher. He shook his head as he walked down the stairs and out of the house, calling to his parents that he was leaving.

He got into his car and pulled out of the drive and headed in the direction of Jackie's house.

Jackie stood in the window, her arms folded over her chest, her face placid and her mind clear. She had been wanting to do this for nearly the whole school year, and now that he was home, she finally could.

She saw his little red car pull into her driveway and she slowly made her way to the front door as he walked up the path. He barely had the chance to knock when she opened the door. She smiled pleasantly at him and embraced him, kissing him on the cheek. "Thanks for coming over on such short notice," she said generically, motioning to the living room. "Please come in and have a seat. I need to talk to you."

"I need to talk to you, too, Jackie," Marco said as he sat down on the couch. She sat on the edge of the sofa, facing him, her hands folded in her lap. Her dark hair suited her now. The blue streak gone with the blonde hair, she looked sophisicatedly pretty now.

"I hope we're going to be saying the same thing, because if not it could get really awkward," she laughed, worry plain to see in her bright eyes. Marco laughed nervously as well, hoping what he had to say was going to be okay.

"Marco Diaz," Jackie started, swallowing nervously.

"Jackie Lynne Thomas," he replied. He reached into his pocket and fiddled with something there. Her eyes darted to this gesture and her heart started to race.

"I think we should break up," they said at the same time. Both completely stunned at what the other said, they stared at each other for a good few minutes before cracking up in fits of laughter, shocked that they were thinking the same thing.

"What's that in your pocket then?" she said between fits of laughter. Marco pulled the necklace she had given him at his sixteenth birthday, and handed it toward her. Putting her hands up to stop him, she smiled and waved them.

"No, that was a birthday present. Not just a boyfriend present. Keep it. I bought it just for you anyway," Jackie smiled. He looked down at the trinket and smiled.

"Thanks," he smiled. Jackie smiled back and stood. "I should go then. Star came back," Marco added. Jackie looked shocked.

"She did?" She knew Marco always had harbored feelings for the girl, even though he claimed to have liked Jackie his whole life. Jackie knew that Star was so much more special to him.

"Yeah, just as I got home she appeared actually," Marco told her. He stood as well and made for the front door. There was something more important weighing on his mind.

"You still love her, don't you?" she asked. Marco nodded, unashamed of his answer. Jackie felt a slight pang in her heart that their past four years together was trumped by a space girl, but she smiled nonetheless. Star was always a cool girl in her books. No wonder Marco was in love with her.

"I've got to tell her. I never had enough courage to tell her when she was here, and when she left it weighed on me even more. What we had together is something I'll always treasure, Jackie. You were so much fun, and I hope that we can still be friends," Marco said. Jackie was about to reply, but she felt a 'but' hanging in the air.

"But telling Star you love her is more important," she said, shutting down what he was about to say. He closed his mouth and nodded.

"Then go tell her," Jackie smiled, kissing him once more, as a friend, on the cheek, before shoving him out the door, putting him one step closer to his ladylove. She watched him pull out of her driveway and head home, feeling bittersweet about their relationship.

When Marco pulled into his own driveway, he immediately raced up to Star's room, but hesitated when he heard music playing inside. She was playing a dark waltz. She must be dancing with an invisible partner too. He chuckled. That was just her style. He stepped back from the door and knocked three times and waited. His heart was racing in his chest, and his blood pulsed in his ears.

The door opened and there stood Star, looking as radiant as ever. She smiled at him with that simple smile again and cocked her head to the side.

"Do you need something, Marco?" she asked. Inviting himself in, Marco stepped into the room and over to her bed. Startled, Star followed, unsure of what to make of this intrusion.

"Star, I need to tell you something. Something that's been weighing on me for the past six years," he said, finally finding the courage to tell her how he really felt about her.

"Oh, Marco," Star said, unsure of how to break her own news to him. He ignored her and kept going.

"I love you, Star Butterfly. More than I ever knew I did. When you were here for that year, I was falling so deeply in love with you that I couldn't breathe sometimes. I broke up with Jackie just now. That's where I went. She called me right after you got here, and much to my surprise, was about to do the same thing.

"And dammit, Star, I know you feel the same way about me. That's why you left. You knew how close I was getting with Jackie and you couldn't bear it anymore so you left! I know you love me Star! You just have to," he said, sitting back down after not realizing he had leapt up in excitement.

"Oh Marco," Star said, more sympathetic than confessional. "I wish I could say that I did. But I can't. I don't feel the same way about you.

"I never did."


	35. Why Are They Gone?

Marco froze. She never loved him? Even as kids? Surely she had felt something for him. He knew she had to have felt _something_. He shook his head and gaped at her. She looked as confused as ever, as if he had spoken in a different language.

"Marco, I wish I could tell you that I did. Really I do. It hurts me to see my best friend hurt like this. I never wanted to cause you pain like this," she said, trying to be comforting, but it wasn't working. She was too plastic. It felt too rehearsed.

"You're lying," Marco said under his breath, his hands balling around the comforter. "You have to be. I can't mean nothing to you!" he shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks. Star glared at him, looking down her nose. Something in her bright blue eyes was gone. The light from them. They were dull and lifeless, like doll's eyes. They shone like glass, but not like stars. He stood and glared right back at her.

"Never accuse me of that. I am crown princess of Mewni. Know your place, boy," she hissed, her stare freezing. Marco glared right back at her, his fists clenched by his sides.

"And what good is that threat here? Here on Earth, that means _nothing_ ," he growled. Stalking out of her room, he slammed the door, a sound which reverberated around nearly the whole house. Staring after him, Star felt something drop in her stomach, and she sat down mindlessly on her bed, staring at the door, wondering what exactly had elicited this kind of behaviour. From both of them. Marco had always been so even tempered, and she _never_ lost her temper, even when tested. What happened between them?

Marco shut himself in his room and lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. What the hell had just happened? He never got angry, and neither did she. Frankly, she was the last person he ever expected to get angry, let alone furious like that. He felt so cold under her stare, like part of her was gone, and she wasn't the same Star. It was getting dark out, and the sun was setting in his window, causing the room to glow with the dying amber light.

There was a knock on the door. His heart raced. Please be Star... Please be Star...

"Marco, sweetheart, dinner is ready. Come down and wash up. I made your favourite, stuffed peppers," his mother said from the other side of the door. His heart fell into his shoes. "What's wrong with Star? I knocked on her door, but she didn't answer, and the door's locked, too. Did something happen?"

Marco contemplated lying to her. He didn't want to tell her his heart was broken. He'd never hear the end of her consolation otherwise. "She's homesick," he lied, cringing at the terrible excuse. His mom seemed to hesitate replying, but did so anyway. He heard her retreating down the stairs and tentatively, walked to his door and opened it. He peeked around the corner and saw Star's door still shut. He felt numb from the events that had occurred, but his stomach rumbled hungrily and figured eating would do him some justice. Especially since he hadn't seen his parents since winter.

"Marco, is everything okay?" his father asked over dinner that night. Star still hadn't joined them and now his parents were worried more than usual. Star never got homesick. She loved Earth too much. He pushed a piece of pepper around his plate with his fork and held his head in his other hand.

"Star and I got into a fight. I said some things I regret and now she's upset. Whether she's mad at me, I have no clue. But I hurt her pretty badly," Marco confessed. His parents looked at him with worried looks, before looking at each other as well.

"Have you tried apologizing to her?" his mother suggested. She was always the mediator. Whenever anything went wrong, she was always there to help out. But this wasn't something Marco and Star could just 'work out'. It was deeper than that. There were feelings involved that weren't on a parent-child relationship level.

"No, Mom. And I doubt I'm going to," he started.

"Marco Diaz!" his mother gasped in shock before he got the chance to finish.

"Mom, please! Let me finish. I doubt I'm going to because she said things that hurt me pretty badly, too. We're on the same page," Marco finished. His parents exchanged tentative glances again, not sure of what to do.

"What did you two say to each other, may we ask?" his father asked.

"I told her I loved her and she said she never felt the same. She got up in my face and threw down her 'crown princess' card, and I told her that that kind of thing meant nothing here," Marco said, folding his arms and putting his head down on them in shame. He didn't feel any sort of regret for what he said. He was devastated that she crushed him like that.

"I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going out," Marco declared, standing up abruptly from the dinner table. His parents looked at him in surprise, but didn't stop him. He grabbed his car keys and headed to his car, but stopped as he stepped into a pool of light from an upstairs window. Looking up, he saw Star standing out on her balcony, looking out over Echo Creek. The sun had finally sunk beyond the horizon, but light still radiated from it, lighting the sky in a red glow. He wanted to call up to her, but by the time he looked back, she was gone and the light was off. He sighed and climbed into his car.

He wasn't sure where he was headed, but when he found himself in Jackie's driveway, he wasn't about to leave. He walked to the front door and was about to knock when it opened. Jackie was standing there in a sweatshirt and shorts, looking none too surprised to see him.

"Were you expecting me?" Marco asked, walking in as she stepped aside.

"No, I just saw the lights in the drive and knew that you wouldn't be here if you didn't need to talk to someone," she replied, heading for the kitchen. He followed and sat down at the breakfast bar. The kitchen was dim, save the lights under the cabinets and the nightlight on the floor. She opened the fridge and pulled out a small cake and two bottles. She cracked them open and set one in front of Marco. He lifted the bottle and looked at the label. Craft IPA. Typical Thomas family beverage.

He took a swig and gladly accepted the cake set in front of him. Jackie leaned against the counter and took a swig from her own bottle.

"Spill, Diaz. I've got all night," she smiled. He nodded and told her everything, even from when Star was gone. How he had invited her to his graduation and post party, how he loved her for years, then how she dashed his feelings on the rocks. She nodded at all the right moments, acknowledging that she was comprehending everything he was saying, not just listening for the sake of their past relationship.

"I don't know what to do now," he finished, taking another sip of his drink.

"I don't think you have to do anything at this point. Like you said, you two are on the same page insult-wise. I think you should just let her be. She'll come around eventually," Jackie replied, looking at him with concern. Jackie always knew what to say to make him feel better.

Marco looked at the half empty bottle in front of him and pushed it away. He still had to drive home. "Thanks for listening, Jackie," he said, standing from the bar stool he had been sitting on. Jackie straightened as well and walked around the breakfast bar to her friend.

"I always do, Marco. You know that," she said, cupping his cheek lightly. He leaned into her touch and smiled, kissed her lightly on the forehead and headed for the front door.

When he got home, the house was dark, but an odd sound was coming from the backyard. He strained his ears to listen better and was surprised to hear what sounded like metal slicing through the air. Creeping around the house, he peeked around the garage and his breath caught in his throat. Star had an opaque, opalescent visor over her eyes and was wielding a large similarly opalescent sword. She wasn't fighting anything, but Marco assumed that she was using a virtual universe to train.

"Star? Why are you up still?" Marco's heart leapt into his throat as his mother stepped through the sliding patio doors that led to the backyard, where she confronted Star. Star lowered her sword and lifted her visor. Marco once more saw the dull, glassy, doll-like eyes in her beautiful face, lifeless and unaware of the world around her.

"I was only training. Did I wake you?" Star asked politely. Marco's mother shook her head, but pulled her bathrobe closer around her.

"Mr. Diaz and I were just going to bed. We saw you outside and I wanted to make sure you were alright. Marco told us about your fight today, do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Mrs. Diaz looked mildly startled by so abrupt a response, but didn't push the matter any further.

"Alright, sweetie. I'm here if you need to talk," Mrs. Diaz replied before turning back into the house.

"I know you're there, Diaz," Star said, her gaze still fixated on the patio door. Marco swallowed the lump in his throat and stepped out from behind the garage.

"Why are you training so late at night?" Marco asked, trying to avoid bringing up the unpleasantness from the afternoon.

"As future queen of Mewni, I need to be prepared to lead armies into battle if the need should arise," Star replied, turning towards him. She stood straight, with her sword in front of her, her hands resting atop the hilt. She looked like a royal statue, one that would stand in front of a throne room, mirrored by an identical statue, on either sides of the doors. Maybe when she's queen, statues of her will really flank the throne room doors.

"Well, it's past midnight. You should be in bed," Marco said gently.

"You should be, too, Diaz," Star snapped. Clearly she wanted animosity between them now. Marco felt his temper rising, but attempted to quell it.

"What I do is none of your business, your highness," he said, glaring at her with mild irritation. He walked to the patio doors and opened them, and headed for the stairs, not waiting to see if she would follow.

Star watched him walk inside, feeling dissatisfied with how their conversation had just went. She knew she had been in the right, and he should be apologizing. But something inside her told her she had been in the wrong as well. That she as well needed to apologize.

She headed into the house and slid the door shut behind her before heading for the stairs. Tentatively climbing, she looked towards Marco's room and saw light inside, coming from under the door. But when she reached the top of the stairs, the light went off. Her heart sank and she turned towards her own room.

Inside, she shut and locked the door, leaning against it. She felt her heart cringe with anguish as she headed for her bed. Her wand sat in the center of her comforter and she noticed it pulsating with a dim blue light. Lifting it, she unclasped the side and opened the small door, revealing a brighter, but still dim, blue light. It died quickly, and all that she could see was a glowing blue phial, teardrop shaped, and corked at the top. She picked it up and looked at it, the cork under her index finger, the point digging into the pad of her thumb.

It was an odd phial, something she never expected to see in her wand.

"What are you?" she mused, turning the phial over in her hand now. From the bottle radiated a large pulsation of more blue light that ringed out around the room, knocking her over.

"I am your memories of love," an ethereal voice said. The voice sounded like a thousand voices all speaking together, as if they were in a cave. The sound echoed hollowly, and Star looked up at the figure before her in fear and wonder.

"Memories of...love?" she asked. The blue light looked like her, but it wasn't. It was a figure who resembled her, but the eyes were empty and void of all iris or pupil. The clothes were long flowing garments, and the hair swirled around her as if she were under water. Her arms were outstretched at her sides, the palms facing Star.

"Yes."

"Why are you here? Who stole my memories? Why are they bottled? No, wait! Don't...!" Star called as the figure faded from sight. "Go..." She held the tiny bottle in her hands and sat down on the edge of her bed, staring at it sadly.

"Why are my memories of love gone?" she mused silently.


	36. I Think I May Know

Star awoke from a restless sleep at the break of dawn, unable to sleep anymore. She sat up in bed and stared around her room, wondering just what it was that had happened last night. Her memories of love were gone. But what memories of love? Of her family? Of her friends? Who took them? And why was there a small blue phial in her wand? She never kept anything in there. She didn't even know there was a compartment in the wand at all. SO many questions swam in her head, making her dizzy.

Slithering out of bed, she stood and stretched, unable to stay in bed anymore, as well. She wanted to talk to Marco, to tell him what had happened, but she didn't know if he was mad at her still or not. Deciding that she would not risk the confrontation, she decided to go up to the small library she had in her room to do some investigation on memory retrieval and stolen memories.

On the top level, she stood in front of the mirror that guarded her library and waved her hand across the surface. Rippling like water, the mirror vanished and lay passage to a darkly lit room, paneled in mahogany and lit by short candles. Upon entering, the door to the library shut and closed her in, just as she wished it to. Locked away, surrounded by tomes of ages and texts on every subject in the known universe, Star searched the shelves for any book that dealt with memories.

Climbing the ladder, she wheeled across the towering shelves, her eyes scanning the spines and old, dusty scrolls, trying desperately to find anything. She didn't dare call upon Glossarick, as he would be absolutely no help whatsoever, even though he knew every secret of her wand. This was something new, something she had never read about before. She pulled down book after book on magic, spells, and memory spells and set them on the large table in the center of the room. Pulling up a chair, she opened the cover of a particularly large volume, and coughed in the cloud of dust that arose from the old parchment pages.

"When was the last time this book was even opened?" she mused. This library was old. Hidden in a castle in the darker forests of Mewni, none but the bravest of men, or the wisest of sorcerers have ventured to this castle. She looked at the door she has passed through, which had now turned into a solid wall, covered by a long, wide tapestry, depicting scholars deeply involved in mysterious works and volumes of ancient knowledge. She had, when she discovered the library three years ago, connected it to her room on Mewni, and thus her room on Earth, through the enchanted mirror.

Taking a deep breath and waving the remainder of the dust away from her face, she turned the page. It was crisp and brittle from age, yellowing and wrinkling at the edges. The volume had been hand written, ages ago and left to sit and collect dust from then on. The writing was sloping and script, something she wasn't able to easily decipher. But she had no other choice. This volume was on spells and potions, particularly ones that dealt with alterations of mind and memory.

Scanning down the table of contents, she saw what she thought to be memory restoration. Lifting about one thousand pages, she dropped them with a dull thud, and the pages once more emitted a large cloud of dust. Coughing again, she waved her hand in front of her face to clear the dust and started to scan down the page.

"Damn... Nothing," she cursed under her breath. Slamming the book shut, she moved to the next, slowly eliminating every single volume and scroll she had pulled off of the shelves.

Declaring this visit a bust, she left the room. Moving the tapestry aside, she passed through the mirror and back into her room. Unaware of how much time she had spent in the library, she decided to get something to eat, as her stomach growled from lack of food.

Changing into a light summer dress, she headed out of her room and downstairs to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm just not so sure on how I feel about her staying here. I mean, I like her and all, but she invades everyone's space whenever she's here, as if she has no respect for personal boundaries." Star's heart stopped. That voice sounded like Marco.

"She'll be gone before you realize it, Marco. You'll only have to deal with her for a short period of time. I know how you feel about her. I'm really not to keen on her either, but she has no one else to stay with while she's here." The other voice sounded like Mrs. Diaz, and Star felt her heart crack.

They didn't want her here? She was invasive of personal space? Star looked down at her feet. She never had been like that. At least now. But she had only been on Earth for a day. And she was staying the year. How could they say that? Deciding that confrontation was useless at the time, she bucked up her courage, fought back her tears and walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Star! How'd you sleep?" Mrs. Diaz asked, her enthusiasm and genuine care false.

"Fine, thank you," Star replied coolly. "May I have some coffee?" she added, pointing to the coffee maker, the pot nearly full. Mrs. Diaz smiled widely and nodded.

"Of course, dear. Marco brewed it not fifteen minutes ago," she smiled. "Let me grab you a mug." She opened a cupboard and handed Star a mug. Star looked at the mug and her breath caught in her throat. It had shooting stars on it, intermingled with rainbow butterflies, all against an indigo background.

"We ordered that when you left," Mrs. Diaz said, her tone changing drastically. She sounded sad all of a sudden.

"Why?" Star asked, filling the mug nearly to the rim.

"We were hoping you'd come back," she replied. Star's heart skipped a beat. Surely she didn't mean it. Not after what she had overheard them talking about.

"We missed you, Star. It was our only way of remembering you when you left," Marco said. Star was startled to hear him speak. She was sure they were on nonverbal terms. She set her mug down and turned to look at them. Marco was wearing an old high school track shirt and pajama pants, and Mrs. Diaz was wearing the robe she had on last night.

"Then why did you say you didn't want me here? I overheard you talking about me. How I wouldn't be here for long, and I'd be gone before you knew it. And how I had no regard for personal..." She was cut off by Marco, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, silencing her on the spot. He smelled good, even after sleeping. His arms felt the same as they did when she arrived here yesterday afternoon. Lean, not too muscular, but safe. His chest was taut and she buried her face in his tee, silently crying. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him tightly, as if he were her anchor to Earth.

"We weren't talking about you, Star. We wanted you here. We want you here forever, you know that. We all love you," Marco whispered, loud enough for only Star to hear. Her crying intensified, her tears undoubtedly soaking his shirt, but Marco only held her closer.

"We were talking about my Aunt Abigail, sweetheart," Mrs. Diaz said after her son let go of the princess. Star wiped her tears away and sniffled. Taking a sip of coffee, she listened as Mrs. Diaz explained about the older woman and how she would come to stay every now and then. This just happened to be a 'now and then' visit.

Calming down completely, she drank more of her coffee as she found it easier to talk about what had happened on Mewni over the past five years. She told them about Tom, and how she was supposed to marry him. She told them about being regent for a year, her new housing plans and how they were almost finished, and she told them about her mother's scheme, all to make her a better queen.

"Sounds like you had an experience," Mrs. Diaz smiled. Star grinned and looked between Marco and his mother.

"I did. But I still have a bit more to learn. That's why I have to leave once a week for the day, to prepare and do more lessons," Star explained. She hadn't told them that once a week she'd be leaving, but much to her surprise, they took it without despair.

"We understand. You have to prepare for being a queen," Mrs. Diaz said, standing to place their mugs in the sink. Star looked at Marco while his mother's back was turned and Marco's heart skipped a beat. There was once single twinkle in her eye. One that meant not all hope was lost. He had heard what happened in her room last night. How her memories were taken from her and bottled in a small phial.

"Star, there's something I have to tell you," he whispered. "Can we talk in the living room?" Star looked at him with curiosity, but nodded nonetheless.

"Hey, Mom, you have a great day at work, okay? We'll see you when you get home," Marco said, standing from the kitchen table. Mrs. Diaz turned to her son and Star and smiled brightly.

"Have a great day, you two!" she beamed as they headed out of the kitchen and into the living room. Marco sat Star down on the couch and sat opposite her. She looked at him once more with curiosity as he started to explain how he heard everything. He expected Star to be furious with him, to accuse him of espionage, but she simply nodded her head and told him what she had done this morning.

"I wasn't sure what I was looking for, as I have no idea what memories I've lost. Or how they went missing," Star explained. "The figure that spoke to me, her message was so vague. I searched through I have no idea how many books this morning, and I came up with nothing."

Marco looked pensively at the coffee table, as if he expected it to come to life and give him all of the answers. But he as well was coming up blank.

"Can we take a look at the phial?" he asked, trying to suggest anything that would assist them in this mystery. Star nodded and they stood, heading for her room.

She opened the door, heading over to her desk and opened a small box that Marco had never seen before. Inside was lined with burgundy crushed velvet, and lying in the center was the glowing blue phial. Star lifted it from its bed and placed it gently in Marco's hands. He turned it over and over, wondering just what was inside. He noticed it was corked and pointed this out to Star as well.

"I don't know. It just looks like a bottled spell to me," Star said, and explained how volatile bottled spells were if opened. Marco shied away from the bottle slightly and placed it back into the velvet bed. Star closed the box and moved to her bed, sitting down on the edge.

"I don't know what to do," she said, sounding defeated. "They were my memories of love. Maybe all of my memories of everyone I love are gone. Maybe I forgot how to love my parents, or my friends." Star collapsed back onto the blankets, her blonde hair falling around her. Marco looked back at her, and suddenly a light when off in his head.

"Star, do you remember anything about your parents telling you who made the wand?" he asked. She shot up, sitting bolt upright.

"Marco Diaz, you may be on to something," she said, a grin creeping over her face. She hopped off her bed and reached beneath. Marco wondered for just a moment at what she was doing, but when she pulled the large book that contained every spell concerning her wand, he was no longer in the dark.

"The author of the book must be the same person who made the wands! Otherwise, who would make a wand and not know how to use it?" she declared, a wild sort of enthusiasm gleaming in her eyes. She lifted the book onto her bed and started to flip through the pages at the front and back of the book.

"Aha!" she declared, pointing to very small script at the bottom right corner of the back cover. How she was able to find that was beyond Marco's comprehension, but was relieved she found it nonetheless.

"It says... Ugh, it's too small; I can't read it," she exclaimed exasperatedly. Marco motioned for her to give him the book and he tried to read it. Squinting, he tried to make out the sloping handwriting, worn away from years of use.

"It says... Fifteen eighty-seven, Gorlog," Marco read, completely confused by the name, or the numbers. "Do you recognize that at all? Is that some sort of Mewni-library code? Like we have the Dewey decimal system here on Earth?"

Star was deep in thought, wracking her brain for any sort of memory of what that could possibly mean. "I think I might know where to find out," she declared, standing and running up the staircase. Marco, surprised at her outburst, shoved the book aside and followed her, wondering where in the world she was heading.

"We can find out in here," Star said, pointing to the mirror. Marco looked at her.

"A mirror," he said. Star smiled and shook her head, waving her hand in front of the mirror. Marco gaped at the surface as it rippled.

"C'mon, its through here," she said, and stepped through the frame. Following tentatively, Marco stepped into the library.


	37. I Love You

Marco gaped around at the library. It was more impressive than he had been expecting. The shelves were nearly ten feet high, and lined with books on every subject known to man and beast. He couldn't help but gape around at the room, at the expanse of knowledge that had been amassed here over hundreds, if not thousands of years.

"The book is over here!" Star shouted from across the room. She was atop a rolling ladder, pulling out a large book. She held it delicately in her arm as she descended the rungs and walked over to the table. She set it down and opened it, scanning down the table of contents. Marco sat down next to her, and the feel of him close was reassuring to her. As if she were stronger somehow. She looked at him and his eyes were focused on hers. Her heart skipped a beat as she noticed how warm his brown eyes were. Comforting, like someone you love being near you all the time. Blushing, she looked away and found a chapter that might help them.

"Here. 'Famous and Infamous Wandmakers of Mewni'. Infamous? How?" Star pondered aloud as she flipped to the page. It was another thick book that sent a cloud of dust into the air. Both she and Marco coughed and waved the dust away as Star began to look for what she hoped was the answer to their first problem. Who made her wand.

"Farlamen, made wands for sorcerers only. Hithersei made wands for battle generals and other high ranking officers. Ugh! Not a single one who crafted for royalty!" she exclaimed, almost ready to give up.

"Here, look. Anther Gorlog," Marco said. "Listen to this. 'A wandcrafter from the mid millennium of Mewni, he was famed for his spectacular wands, scepters and staffs created especially for royalty. Known to be one of the only crafters to write spell books for his patrons.' That's something." Marco looked at Star and she at him, the two of them in sheer disbelief that they had found exactly what they were looking for.

"He's got to be dead though. This was in the mid millennium," Marco announced. Star looked at him with a smirk on her face and he began to grow increasingly worried.

"Sorcerers and other practitioners of magic tend to live longer than most on Mewni," Star said. "There's a chance he may still be alive. Their use of magic prolongs their life."

"Yeah, that's great. But how does that help us here?" Marco asked sarcastically.

"We're going on an adventure!" Star exclaimed. Marco gaped at her. not another one of her harebrained schemes.

"No way. Not a chance. You don't even know where this guy lives! Besides, if you haven't noticed, we aren't on Mewni!" Marco exclaimed. He wasn't going to let her drag him on another adventure through the wilderness of Mewni, let alone anywhere else. But looking at her, he realized she wasn't going to give up until he went with her.

"Please, Marco? I have to find out what happened!" Star begged. Marco sighed defeatedly and shrugged.

"I'll go see where the camping gear is," he said reluctantly, smiling at the princess. She squealed and latched her arms around his neck tightly, jumping up and down. Marco's heart skipped a beat. This was Star. Energetic and incorrigible, happy and carefree, ready to go on a magical quest at any given moment. But he also knew that this Star was rare to be found anymore. Soon, she would revert back to her regal, queenly self, unable to crack a smile if her life depended on it. Taking the moment for granted, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly to his chest, unable to let her go. She went stiff and her arms dropped to her sides.

"Marco, what are you doing?" she asked, her tone back to the way it was when she first arrived back to Earth.

"I can't lose you, Star. Something stole your memories, and I can't let it steal anymore of them. I need you in one piece, Star," he whispered, holding her tight. He felt her breath catch in her throat and a light touch at his back made him jump slightly. But Star didn't relinquish her embrace. She hugged him back, tighter than she ever had before, burying her face into his chest. He rested his cheek on her blonde hair.

Letting go of each other, they left the library and Star started to collect things from around her room, putting them in a pile in the center of the rug.

"What are you doing with all that?" Marco asked. Star smiled.

"It's all for the mission, Marco!" she said, tossing a rolled up sleeping back into the pile. "You should go look for the camping gear!"

With a nod, Marco left the room and closed the door behind him. Star sighed sadly and walked over to the box that contained her memories. She felt terrible lying to him, but she had to. She had to know why she took these memories from herself, and how she can restore them. Memories of love? She had to have had a particularly good reason to remove them. Lifting the lid of the box, she picked up the phial and turned it over in her fingers, looking at the swirling blue liquid. It looked just like a potion. Maybe it was just like a potion. It had a cork in the top, stoppering the blue liquid, so maybe it was a potion.

She uncorked it and put the phial to her lips and backed the drink. It tasted terrible, like galaxy whiskey mixed with meedleberry juice. Grimacing, she doubled over instantly from the headache that bubbled up from the back of her head. She put her hands to either side of her head as memories flooded back to her.

Tom, her failed engagement, her birthday parties, the Blood Moon Ball from six years ago, then finally what she had erased in the first place. Marco. When she realized she loved him, writing in her diary about how much she loved him, throwing away his invitations and letters from when he was dating Jackie, him going to see Jackie when she arrived back on Earth. And how much she still loved him. She loved him more than anything in the world. She loved him so much that it hurt her heart to love him.

There was a knock on her door that startled her out of the flow of memories. She dropped the phial and it shattered on the marble floor. Her heart started racing in fear of Marco's realizing she lied to him. She broke his heart, telling him she never loved him.

"Star, you oka... What happened?" Marco rushed to her side, and saw the broken, empty phial on the floor. He looked from the phial to Star and back at the floor, finally making the connection.

"I did it, Marco," Star confessed, tears welling in her large, blue, beautiful eyes. "I removed my own memories, I lied to you. I didn't want you to think me a coward. I couldn't bear the pain of knowing that you... that you..." She couldn't finish her confession due to the fact that the tears that had been building up in her eyes finally poured over and she started weeping severely.

"That I what, Star?" he asked, taking the crying princess into his arms. His tone was so gentle, it only made Star cry harder.

"You loved Jackie," she whispered into his jacket. Marco froze and started chuckling to himself. Star felt his shoulders shake and when she stepped away from him, he burst out laughing, nearly doubled over.

"What's so funny?" Star cried, not understanding why he could be laughing. Marco straightened and gripped her shoulders tightly.

"I could never love Jackie as much as I love you, Star! She and I broke up!" Marco laughed. Star gawked at him and, without thinking took his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his firmly. Shocked at what she was doing, Marco jumped away quickly and stared at Star. She stood there completely bewildered as well, probably wondering why he jumped away from her.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to kill me? Because I am so terminally in love you Star, what are you doing to me?" Marco begged, this time it being his turn to cry. Star walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face to his chest.

"Didn't you hear what I had said? I removed my own memories. I did this to myself! And drinking that small bottle restored them. Marco, I've loved you for _years_!" Star exclaimed, stepping back from him once more. He looked at her with wide eyes, complete disbelief on his face. He kept shaking his head, like it didn't add up somehow. But the realization of what Star had just said started to make sense, and finally he came around.

"Why'd you do it, then?" he asked. Star was surprised that this was the only response her actions elicited.

"It hurt too much, thinking that you loved Jackie and not me. I wanted you to love me more than anything, Marco." Star walked closer to him and reached out for him. He wrapped his arms around her and sank to the floor, his face buried in her golden hair.

"I do, Star. More than you could ever know," he whispered, his voice partially muffled by her hair.


	38. Our First Fight (Kinda)

Later that night, long after Mr. and Mrs. Diaz had retired to bed, Star and Marco lay in the backyard on a blanket, stargazing. She pointed out Mewni, which was a faint pinkish dot in the northern part of the sky, near Lynx. As she lay there, she gazed up at his profile. He was smiling lightly, his eyes reflecting the heavens. She sighed lightly and looked back up at the sky. She had her head on his chest, his arm securely wrapped around her. Now that he had her, he had no intention of ever letting her go. She knew she had to tell him soon.

"I'm only here for a year. Until my coronation," Star said placidly. Marco felt his heart jolt. They had just confessed their love for each other and now she's leaving? Sure he went away to college, but he came home on weekends and breaks.

"What?" he coughed, sitting up. She followed suit and folded her legs fluidly in front of her.

"My parents sent me here for the year before my coronation. I told you that when I arrived," she replied. Her face was gentle but her voice prodded him like he was stupid for not remembering.

"I knew that, but you can't drop something like that on someone so soon after..." Marco's voice trailed off. Star looked at him with that look he could never get away from. That look of care and concern. The look that always killed him.

"So soon after what, Marco?" She knew what he meant. He wanted to say 'so soon after you tell someone you love them'. She hated telling him. But he had to know that this wasn't going to be permanent. That she had a PLANET to rule. Here on Earth, she was someone to only a few people. On Mewni, she was their entire future. Her rule was forever, until she either died or abdicated. And she wasn't going to give that up. Being queen was something she had dreamed of her whole life.

"Star, I know that your reign and coronation is important, but, I just got you back. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" he asked. Of course it meant something. She loved him. She always had. But this little visit was going to be short. She wanted to stay, but she knew that the people of Mewni needed her. And her time as regent had turned the kingdom towards progression.

"Marco," Star said, trying to plead with him. He turned away from her and she felt her temper rising. Fine. If he wanted to play nasty, she should, too. And she had the perfect card to play.

"I was going to marry Tom, you know."

His head snapped to face her, his eyes blazing. " _What_?" he asked, his voice almost a growl. Was she looking to start a fight? "Why didn't you?"

"Because of you, you idiot!" she shouted, rising to her feet. "Every time I thought I could be happy again, to move on, get married, have a family, you came back to mind and ruined it all!"

"I ruined it? Who's the one who ran away? You LEFT us, Star! You left my mom and dad, and all our friends for your own selfish reasons," Marco spat. She could hear the words on his tongue that he couldn't manage to speak through his anger. 'You left me.'

"I am a princess, Marco, not a commoner. I had no choice," she snapped. "Besides, you fought sooo hard to keep me here." She folded her arms and turned away from him, her blonde braid flopping down her back and off her shoulder. He glared at her, seemingly enough to burn holes in her head. "I don't remember you begging my father to let me stay. You handed me over like I was nothing."

"Just go back to Mewni, _your highness_ ," he snarled, narrowing his eyes. "Marry your demon and become queen. Forget me. Obviously I mean nothing to you."

She bristled at this. He was really going to do ths? "How dare you be so selfish!" she shrieked, whirling on her heel to face him again, eyes ablaze like a white-hot flame. Her braid flopped again and she clenched her fists.

"Me, selfish?" he laughed darkly. "That's hilarious coming from a princess."

"You're such an idiot!" she said shrilly. "I wanted to tell you sooner rather than later that I don't have that much time here, but you had to make it a pity party rather than suggesting we make the most of the time I have before I have no time for us whatsoever! Even with you by my side, I don't know how much time a queen will have to be with her husband," she said, her voice cracking and her bottom lip quivering.

Marco's rage ceased like a summer storm, violent, instantaneous and shortlived. "Your...side? Husband?" he croaked. Star stepped closer to him.

"Marco," she said quietly, her eyes silver in the night light. "I couldn't imagine my reign without you next to me."

* * *

 **I'm baaaack! Hi! Sorry it's taken so long to update! I've been busy with college. Sorry also this chapter is shorter than most. I wanted to give you guys something good to keep your interest so far! Thanks!**


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